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    smb  50, Female, Wyoming, USA - 129 entries
15
Aug 2007
2:15 PM MST
   

WATCHED the movie, Freedom Writers... very good movie about teaching. I was very into it and on the edge of my seat. Then I noticed I started having weird, irriatating heart palpatations. They got worse when I layed down and I proceeded to have a full on anxiety attack... lasting until 2am. I felt awful,,, never felt like that before, seriously thought I was going to die! Something is NOT right.
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    Nanda  37, Female, Switzerland - 3 entries
15
Aug 2007
11:15 PM EET
   

Today was not so much of a hectic day.
I was at Starbucks by 8 in the morning! So imagine how early I woke up! Anyway, the manager was very nice. He needs a copy of all my papers (once again) and so I need to go back tomorrow. I think I go back there once more and I'll kill someone...lol! I feel like such a loser going there everyday! I swear :P

The day was very hot! It was 32 degrees and I got a huge headache half way through the day which hasn't gone away -_- I read in the terrace while I read a little...I think I might've gotten a bit of a tan! haha. The girls' came over for lunch today! It was great. Karin fell asleep in my bed for about two hours -_- lmao.

I also spoke to my parents today! :) They're so cute. I swear I miss them so much!! I can't wait till I see them in December and get pampered by my maid and grandma, mummy and daddy! hehehe.

Filip comes home in 4 days. Waiting seems eternal :(

Anyway, Im gonna go wash the dishes from dinner and then try to get some sleep. I need to rest since I think tomorrow I'll probably be going out to a bar or something and I have to wake up early the next day since I have class.

Oh, I just downloaded a bunch of M2M songs, I was feeling nostalgic! haha

Photo: Consuelo and I at the Fetes de Geneve!
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    misskrissy85  40, Female, New Hampshire, USA - 6 entries
15
Aug 2007
11:36 AM EDT
   

I found myself lost recently
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    shem  36, Male, Florida, USA - 3 entries
14
Aug 2007
11:15 PM EDT
   

Drug or greatest natural resource known to man



In our world today we have many problems, most of which we decide not to take in to consideration. What are our man concerns? Global warming, alternative energy and a way to save our forest all over the world? Isn't that some of the great concerns. Often times your network report in vain about it. The solution might be simpler than you think. Now before I bring forth my idea, I just want to say that I hope this is taken seriously. I say that to that as a member of the next generation, these things all will affect us dramatically. Now my solution. Cannabis. Before you decide that this just a pothead trying for the legalization of Marijuana hear me out. Studies have been finding that this plant can be very useful. Matter of fact, if we look back we can see the positive influence it can have. From 1850 with this plant being the main crop of most states, that should be a sort of indicator. It can be made into paper, textiles, linen, clothing, plastics and biomass. What does this mean? For our forest, we could help save trees because the Hemp plant grows faster that a tree and it is known that 1 acre of hemp equals 4.1 acres of tree. This alone sounds like a good thing there is more. The oil from the plant can be made into plastic that is biodegradable. I do not know about you, but with this being able to be done, I would rather that to be able to help with this trash problem. A well known fact is that people use in for medical reasons which is pretty much self explanatory. The final is the ability for it to create an alternative fuel. The four things I listed are just a few this plant can offer. I am an 18 year High School Graduate who is about to start college. My concern for the future is heart felt because at this rate it looks very dull. Now you are probably thinking about why am I telling you guys this. The reason is to help bring about awareness. I do believe if looked into this would be a great help. As I said before, I am just a High School Graduate, I got my info from a very informative we site which is (http://www.illuminati-news.com/marijuana-conspiracy.htm).
For the future please help with this. I surely hope that this does not see eyes that see straight pass these words as foolishness. The law that made Marijuana illegal was passed in the 1930's was passed because of the major industries like Alcohol and Tobacco team up to take down this miracle plant. This is a great injustice to the people who will in the future suffer from it. Please look into. Besides it can make a great story when it takes on.



Shemroy Charles
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    annisfavored  52, Female, Arizona, USA - 22 entries
15
Aug 2007
7:13 AM MDT
   

I Am Grateful That:

  1. I have good friends
  2. I have people who read my writing regularly
  3. I have an unique family.
  4. I am working on my criticism of others.
  5. Every one can know God.
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    Nanda  37, Female, Switzerland - 3 entries
15
Aug 2007
12:45 AM EET
   

Woah! I was suposed to go to class today, but unfortunately I had to go to Starbucks to check how everything was going with the job and didn't have time to go to class.
I arrived and the manager kept me waiting for almost an hour since he was in a meeting -_-
He signed my permit and said to go to the office so they could take little time and see if I could get it faster ( a usual permit takes about 2 months)

Things seem quite positive! He made the effort of signing everything since he really wanted me to take the job. Anyway, I ran out of there and went to Cornavin to take a passport picture (someone had left 4 francs in the machine, so I only had to pay 5! YAY!!) And went to the population office of Geneve.

The bus ride was SO LONG! and when i arrived it was full of people!! I flirted with the guy like mad and told him my boss needed me to start working the 15th of September..and apparently it worked! He said I should get a notice soon, and I should be able to work by then, if not...I could go back and speak to them again.

Apparently this is all easier since I have my Swedish nationality, I doubt with my chilean one they would've been so kind! -_-

I came home exhausted, bumped into Laura and the british girl on my way home (they were just getting out of class! lol), went to the supermarket, came home...and PASSED OUT for about 2 hours. I dont really know how, but I woke up at around 5 with an sms from Filip.

OH! Did I mention I bought MAKE UP TODAY? Thank god! I was seriously running out of powder, it was getting quite sad -_-

I wentto have tea at Consuelo's house just a litle while ago and she lend me a movie called ETERNAL SUNSHINE. I only watched the beginning of it, so I really wanna watch it. Apparently its good...I think I might watch it with Filip when he comes home!

Which btw...HE COMES HOME ON SUNDAY!!!! It seems so long from now :( I can't believe its only tuesday, this week has been ETERNAAAAAAAAAAL!

Anyway, I can't go out today, im way too tired and I have to go back to starbucks at 8 in the morning to give a copy of my permit papers! And I HAVE to make it to class, Ive already missed two classes....so I can't miss anymore!

Well, I'm off to go to sleep! Im very tired and tomorrow will be a LONG DAY!


Oh, the weather was GREAT TODAY! A bit too hot maybe? On the tram ride I was dying with the heat and everyones nasty sweat-smell -_- YUCK!


Photo: Karin, Chris and I at the park on Sunday. We ate Chilean food and had icecream! Very pretty afternoon at the park :)
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    nodeadends  19, Female, New York, USA - 29 entries
14
Aug 2007
6:30 AM EDT
   

Envisioning the pastor being that close helps me behave myself. For sure if the pastor was truly there in that moment he would probably tried to slay the so called lust demon in both of us. Kissing James was nice, but I remember my mom used to say kissing leads to other things. Iam not prepared to take it there with him anyway.
But with Chad (whom I bumped into when I ordered curry chicken at the establishment his dad owns.) its difficult to keep my hands off of his married ass. Even though his hair is growing back, he is fine as ever. The sex was beyond good. We had our perimeters in place, no oral sex and always protected! MMM good. I wanted to put it on him right then! Men like him make it hard for me to maintain abstinence. When we were kicking it before emotions starting getting deep and I had to cut him off. He began to make statements like your mine, you better not be fucking other dudes. But he is married, I aint stupid. He scared me off when he start talking about love and some other shit.
On a serious note I am going to continue this path that Iam on. Yes I miss the fun but I am confident that the lifestyle I was leading would've lead to my spiritual and physical demise. And this sista aint going out like that.
They say its not good for man to be aloneHell its not good for me to be alone! God should hurry up and equip a handsome,assertive, intelligent, confident,trustworthy man to deal with me and my bullshit! That is so I can get married, and live the life I want and deserve.
Tags: Rants
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    nodeadends  19, Female, New York, USA - 29 entries
14
Aug 2007
6:12 AM EDT
   

back to what I was saying... I hope the pastor doesnt take a detour into a forbidden territory. I am heeding Curtiis's warning to be careful. Especially after the torment I went through with Michael. And truthfully I am not attracted to pastor's or men of the cloth, which I can thank Michael and that othr non de script fake ass pastor for.
On to another topic: I ran into James the Jerk while going to the daycare. He turned around, perhaps I should have kept going... We made small talk, then discussed how he reacted the last time we spoke on the phone. He has been liking me for many years. He decided we should try to make it happen. I went along for the ride, for awhile anyway. When I told him "I dont think its going to work out between us",he acted belligerent. He also proceeded to tell me I wasnt all that! The nerve of that negro he clearlywasntcognizant of my ability to crush his already faltering ego! Either I am dumb or a true romantic. We went somewhere last night, near water. It had a trail and something resembling a gazeebo with benches. Beautiful and serene are the adjectives that come to mind. We talked about why I gave the cold shoulder. He is handsome, articulate demanding and arrogant. The latter is a turn off. He told me how dare I or other women turn him down. His shit is on point, but he needs to stop bugging like his shit dont stank. He want a relationship not now but right now. He also wants to get fucked go figure. I told him that aint happening I am on my period (not true). He said he has taken it there before. I understand having been married you can do that. But now with someone you remotley know! That right there is beyond slack! Guess he thought he was gonna smack this NOT. Resisting wasnt an issue since I envisioned the pastor standing right behind him when he kissed in the mouth.
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    nodeadends  19, Female, New York, USA - 29 entries
14
Aug 2007
5:36 AM EDT
   

ok the morning has just started,and I dont want to be here. I dont know why this is. but anywyay I saw an apartment yesterday. It was nice nothing to complain about. Daniel is still in Va and I am concerned that joey may decide to try to kidnap him. I would go to Va to get him if he tried anything. Zay is on the same shit. I think she thinks she is fooling me. What she is really doing is making a fool of herself. Curtis and the kids and I took a ride sunday night. I know what was supposed to happen aftewards. I remeber the pastor's warning about giving the devil room to come in. Also about not being alone with men especially at night. I prayed a quick prayer for an escape, then my period came on. I swear this is not a mere coincidence. God has a sense of humor.

I am stressing about alot of stuff, most of it which I wont give a voice. Oh yeah the pastor called me, we chatted briefly. Something was right with that brother. I cant define it with words. I know something was weird or a litlle of kilter with him. I pray he doesnt come at me with some bullshit. I respect it and want to belieive its reciprocal. After the hell I went through with Michael. Have to take a hiatus.
I
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    nodeadends  19, Female, New York, USA - 29 entries
14
Aug 2007
5:22 AM EDT
   

cant seem to pull it together. I am so fucking angry I could really hurt a mother fucker. Mike Fleming the slum lord refuses to return my money. Last week I was evicted I started to type convicted lol. I m work but not really here my mind is on so many other things.

Daniel went with Joey last night to Virginia . That is what I needed. He should be getting his stitched removed soon. He should stay off that damn fence like I have told him so many times before. He seemed to be content to go off with Joey. And Isaiah is content to be with my mom. Zay swears she knows everything freaking thing and that she is grown. My question is that if she is so grown then why did she come back to my house? I didn't seek her out, tramps up and down the street and beg her to make my life more difficult.

I don't know what to do about my current living arrangements. Sunday I was ready to take it to the bridge literally! I need my money from the slum lord he makes my skin itch as if I have some incurable disease. It's obvious he has taken a liking to me that is not mutual. Can you say yuck? Last week the dumb bitch in payroll jacked up my check. So I had to wait two weeks which will be this Thursday.

Even though me and mother don't see eye to on most things she could relate to all the bullshit Iam going through alone.

Curtis makes me sick to stomach talking about how much he is giving me for her which a damn lie straight from the pits of hell. He is living well while Im struggling just to keep clean clothes on her. My washer broke I told zay to stay there so the service people from lowes could have access to the basement. Of course I got much attitude. I want to punch her in face, she swears she is some type of goddess that one should bow down and worship. I think she forgot who I am! She has all theses suggestions about how and what I should do with mine. All I got to say is that grown people don't live with their mother's.

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